My dear sisters – I know this day can bring pain. I know what it feels like to have old memories associated with Valentine’s Day resurface and the sadness that it causes. I know how jealousy can bubble up as you watch your friends go out as you eat ice cream and watch Grey’s Anatomy reruns. I know how painful it can be to see so many happy couples flutter about as you internally wonder “What is wrong with me? Why don’t I have that?” I know sweet sisters, because I haven’t just been there, I am there.
This is my first Valentine’s Day single since 2012. I’ve been asking these questions for six months now. I’ve prayed and asked God for answers and understanding. What I’ve learned is that we are going to get through this! It isn’t going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination. It’s a long and painful (and I do mean physically painful) road that takes a lot of time and patience to walk. But dear sweet girls we will get through it together! Today, on this day of love, I want to share my findings with you. I want to encourage you to walk with your head held high and the knowledge that one day this feeling will be one of the past.
I’ve learned that the first thing you have to stop doing is thinking less of yourself. I know, I know – it’s a lot harder than I make it seem. Even I struggle with the thoughts when I don’t see my love life going the way I want. Am I not pretty enough? Do people not like my personality? What is wrong with me. I have learned that Satan knows just what to stick in our heads to bring us down. The thing is we are none of those things! Sweet girls, you are beautiful, smart, kind, and caring. You are one of a kind! You are nothing less than absolute beauty and perfection! Your situation and what happens to you does not reflect the person you are, so don’t let it influence what you think of yourself.
Where you are today is not where you are going to be down the road. I know it is hard to comprehend especially when the time line is completely unknown. Things could change tomorrow or they could change 20 years from now. That’s a hard truth to swallow sometimes. But it’s worth being patient with the Lord. Never settle for someone who doesn’t appreciate you. Remember – you are fabulous! This means that a guy should have absolute intentions for you. I will leave this a little open ended, but know this: a guy who has no intentions of making you a priority is not worth your time. You are a woman of great dignity and you deserve the finest! For me this includes guys who just can’t make the initial commitment. As hard as it may seem, a guy who doesn’t step up and make his intentions clear on where your relationship is going does not have your best interests in mind. It’s in that moment that it is best to step back and let God show you the way.
While these are some great things that I have learned during my time as a single, they are not the most important things, and it’s not what I want you to leave this blog remembering. What I want you to know is that there is a man out there who loves you unconditionally. He loved you enough to die for you, and He will continue to love you no matter what happens in your life. Jesus. What I want is for you to lean on Jesus during this time. Let Him love you, and let him show you how to love yourself. Take this time and better get to know Him and yourself. He wants to help you and heal your wounds. He wants to love you in a way that you’ve never been loved before, and only when He knows that you are ready to move on will He let someone else step in.
So on this day, don’t think about what you’re missing out on. If fact tonight you could have the greatest date of them all. I know I will! I can’t wait to go home for a quite dinner with Jesus, spend time talking to Him, listening to Him, and getting to know Him better. Sweet girls, I encourage you to do the same. Don’t let this be a holiday that you feel bad for yourself. Take it back to its true purpose: love others and love Jesus. Spread that love to others! And have faith that the Lord has a fabulous path laid out for you and that this time in your life is just a small piece of a much larger, and beautiful, picture.
Happy Saint Valentine’s Day Sweet Friends!